“Sh*t Autism Moms Say,” from TMR


Sh*t Autism Moms Say…

OMG, he totally needs to be chelated!

I’m in yeast hell.

Did he poop? How did it look? Yellow or brown? Solid? Was it solid-solid or like soft-serve ice cream??

Do you do TMG or DMG?

I’m so psyched! My supplement order is coming today!

I’m thinking about re-organizing my supplement cabinet.

Have you tried melatonin? Have you tried GABA?  Have you tried 5-HTP?

There’s soy and gluten in this.  Garbage.

(Yells from the bathroom) “Honey, did you give the 11:00 dose?”

How much OT, PT, ST andABAdid you get in your IEP… 20 minutes… Me too… Schools don’t get it.

Did his labs come back??? Let’s meet for coffee.  I’m DYING to hear about his amino acid panel…

Thank God! My kid is recovered. <TWITCH-STIM-MOUTH>


‎Holy shit! The guests will be here any minute! HIDE ALL THE SUPPLEMENTS!

Did you use the French lab?

{{on phone}} “No, sorry girl. I can’t meet you at Whole Foods today. My shipment of Camel Milk is coming and I don’t want it to sit on the porch.”

You know… the French pee test? No I don’t know how to spell it.

Good morning. My son will be late for school this morning because he has been up since 2 AM and just fell back to sleep.  I will bring him to school around noon.

We have the HBOT in our bedroom, and my walk-in closet looks like a drug dealer’s:  IV supplies, supplements…

‎OMG, if I have to hear that fuckingHollandpoem one more time I am going to hurt someone.

Oh I totally hate Autism Speaks too!

Dr. Wakefield is SO hot.

‎”I can’t wait for vacation this year. Nothing like warm weather.” “Oh! Where are you going?” “To Rossignol with a stop over at Frye’s. It’s going to be fucking awesome!”

No hands in pants!

Waiter! There’s a piece of gluten in my soup!

Yes, I am sorry. We ordered that hamburger with no bun. Yes, JUST the hamburger patty.

Yes, us too! We are GFCFSFEF, artificial free and mostly SCD.”

‎Yes, I’ll be off Facebook in a second.

Facebook is important!

Can I get pharmaceutical grade Epsom salt by the truckload? I have room for a salt pile in the backyard, and buying in bulk is just so much easier.

Do you get that compounded?

Just wash off the blue coating first before you give it.

I was being stalked by a cardinal and it led me to CEASE. HA.

I finally organized supplement times, and it only took 30 Excel sheets.

Biomed pickup lines:  “Baby, you have nice veins.”  “Hey baby, let’s go back to my place and do some compounding.”  “Baby, you’re so hot, you must be breaking out a virus!”

Flu shot?? I’d rather chew on a mercury thermometer…

‎”Are you going to AO?” “Are you going to NAA?” “Are you going to the DAN conference?”

Are you friends with Amy on FB? She’s a virus expert.

‎Oh!! You’re soooo nice! Would you like be our fecal donor?

Woohoo!!! A detox rash!!!!!

UGH. Brian Deer is such an asshole!

No you can’t have Lucky Charms. Blue is not a food group.

I am detecting notes of clostridia, with a yeasty finish.

If this HBOT’s a rocking, don’t come a knocking.


OK Guys, what else have you got to add to our list?

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