Keeping the Secret

In many ways, I am so open about our family’s encounter with Lyme disease.  I will talk to anyone open and honestly, and look here…this blog has reached hundreds of people, friends and friendly strangers who can relate to our story.

What I feel uneasy about is keeping this secret from our speech therapist and soon, the school district when Jackson turns 3 and begins preschool.  Since Jackson will  be turning three on May 26th, his services through Early Start will end and our local school district will be in charge of providing Jackson a ‘free and appropriate education.’

Our speech therapist is amazing.  She comes up with fun ideas on how to engage Jackson and get him motivated enough to make meaningful, communicative sounds.  She helped me make a binder of pictures to use for Jackson to communicate, and always leaves me with ideas of activities to try with Jackson at home.

On Monday, she had a list of questions for me regarding Jackson’s language, since she has to write up a report about Jackson for our upcoming Early Start exit meeting.  After answering the questions and reviewing Jackson’s goals we set six months ago, it was discouraging (to me) to see that Jackson hadn’t met many of the goals and that he has showed minimal progress.  The speech therapist kept it positive and listed all of Jacksons strengths and improvements.

I have been on the fence for so long, whether or not to tell our speech therapist the truth about Jackson’s recent diagnosis of Lyme disease.  In January, I told her we were going to see a DAN doctor, and since, she has asked me if anything came of the appointment.  I told her that Jackson is on a few supplements, but we didn’t get any big questions of ours answered.  Many times, I wanted to tell her of the recent developments so that she could understand why Jackson is not communicating and progressing as he should.

Once Jackson is out of the Early Start program and into his school district preschool, I will definitely fill in our speech therapist with all the information she is missing and giver her the link to this blog.  I hope she doesn’t feel used or deceived and understands the need for me to keep private this information and do what I did.  I’m sure she’ll understand, and more, use the information to help other children she works with.  She is really, really great!

There will come a day when I can be open and honest with everyone…I can’t wait for that day!!

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